I recently had an uncomfortable situation with my partner. Our relationship is fairly new and she had been traveling on and off for a month. When she returned, her life was still fairly busy. I started to feel that I was unimportant in her life. I also began to observe old thought patterns and hindering beliefs. These thoughts created inner dialogue such as, she doesn't really care about me, and if she did she would make time for me. I wrote a big sad story in my head before I even spoke to her. I slowly started to push the relationship away because it helped soothe my inner pain.
I sat and I observed my fast-moving thoughts and the dense energy it created within me. I asked myself, "What is my Anya?" I miss her and I would like some one-on-one relationship time. Why was expressing my truth such a difficult task? It was something I could never do openly and confidently for one and for two, that would mean that I would have to be vulnerable and possibly be rejected. I continued to ask myself questions: Am I worth being loved? Yes! Is my truth important? Yes! Do I love myself? Yes! Am I prepared to approach her with an open heart and with compromise? Yes! Am I willing to hear and see her perspective? Yes!
Is this fear worth my inner peace? NO! Upon answering each question, my personal power grew.
Shortly after, I approached my partner and asked if we could talk; I slowly and humbly expressed my Anya. Her response went like this, " I was feeling the same way. Let's plan a date night!". LOL! We will never know what beauty is ahead of us, until we stop living in the past.
It's really interesting how we allow our ego to instill fear in us by mere thought. We can go a lifetime creating stories upon stories preventing us from living our Anya. With this one act, it opened up a whole new world of speaking and living my truth in all aspects of my life. My partner and I have a new level of communication and closeness.
When we learn to ride a bicycle, we constantly correct ourselves to find balance. On the spiritual path, we initially correct our thoughts, speech, and actions to find our truth until balance is established. Then the ride is effortless.
Noccan Kani Sonia Salas
